THE ALL NEW MOSTLY TRUE ADVENTURES OF BABY BOY FLETCHER
With astonishing ease, Baby Boy Fletcher settled into his new life at home in Parkville. He seemed pleased with his surroundings and the fact that his mom & dad waited on him hand and foot was also not to be sneered at. Mostly he slept. And he was quite good at it – except when he wasn’t, which, was most of the time! He had a persnickety colic that created major gurgles and disturbances in his GI tract and the BBF found this cause to fuss, cry, twist, and shout. His parents, in spite of their super powers-which were only to be used for freedom and justice to protect and save the good and the innocent-could do nothing! They began to look wan, drawn, outright droopy. They got cranky.
There were nights when the BBF did not give them a moment of rest. His parents tried all the usual and already-established as “never works” remedies. They swaddled; they burped; they walked him; they rocked him; they took him for car rides; they prayed.
Meanwhile, the BBF thrived! By the time he was 4 months old he weighed 15 pounds! He had tripled his weight – a portent of things to come. A literal instantiation of his future prowess. 15 pounds. Heavier than a bag of sugar or potatoes. Heavier than a case of beer. Heavier than Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, a weighty tome indeed! The BBF was having an impact on his surroundings.
People came from far and wide to admire him; bill and coo; exclaim with delight a at his roundness, creases, beautiful blue-gray eyes. They came from Elgin, Syracuse, Rockford, Ithaca, Rochester, Columbia, bearing gifts as did the Magi.
It was the Christmas season after all.
A sweet newborn baby,
A crib for a bed,
The Baby Boy Fletcher
Lay down his sweet head.
The cats were meowing
The baby awakes,
But Baby Boy Fletcher no crying he makes (for once).
I love you dear baby
Dear gift of my heart,
You’re holy and precious
And n’er shall we part.
To be sung to the tune of "Away in a Manger"
