The Scooter Girls Live in Columbia!

The Scooter Girls just finished a one week engagement in Columbia, Maryland where they were – as always – a huge success! Their engagement began Sunday December 23, 2007. Everything was set. There were sprinkles, Cheetos, root beer floats, cookies to decorate, exotic juices, fancy glass, china and silver, cheese crackers, marshmallows, presents, books, and of course, Olivia’s special sleeping nest with an abundance of pillows.

The weather was fine, although not very “Christmas-like,” It was warm and sunny, which was actually a great boon. Because the Scooter Girls had just been gifted with new scooters from Santa! Days were spend flowing up and down the curvy, winding road in front of Gramma’s house. Skills of great balance, speed, and grace were demonstrated to the wonderment of the neighors. The Scootter Girls devised cunning routines as artistic as water ballet, as intricate as an Olympic gymnastic offering, as swift as the Indy 500, as perfectly balanced and breathless as a slalom race!

And through it all the two beautiful Scooter Girls smiled, sang, giggled, yelled “Watch ME!” and scootered with great abandon and joy. And – believe it or not – the injuries were kept to a minimum! Unbelievable given the complexity and speed, and the tremendous risk involved in their many routines. Two scraped knees, a skinned palm, an elbow scraped; that was the extent of it. Those Scooter Girls certainly do live up to their reputation.

Another Year...

goes by. From 2007 to 2008. When did using two-thousand become so prosaic and using nineteen hundred, historic!

4. Baby Boy Fletcher Goes Home –OR – The Great Escape

THE ALL NEW MOSTLY TRUE ADVENTURES OF BABY BOY FLETCHER

Time passed. Slowly. Interminably. Lives were focused on the NICU, coming and going at all hours to be with Baby Boy Fletcher. Waiting. The medical staff was cautious. The parents were worried and tired. The world was waiting. And yet another day went by. Slowly. Interminably.

Suffice it to say, the BBF was getting restless. He had learned in a very short time that boredom quickly encroached when one is contained in a plastic bin, hooked up to machines and lights, being constantly prodded and observed, yet not allowed to observe or prod back. It had been eight long nights, a duration beyond expectation or bearing. Oh my. What to do!

It was time to make a run for it. He needed a plan. Fortunately, he had had more than sufficient time lying in his plastic cage to formulate many plans, evaluate the relative merit and likelihood of success of each. He also, since time was not in short supply, did a risk assessment and s cost-benefit analysis, just because he could. Finally he settled on the one plan he felt was most likely to succeed. He made himself “well enough” to be discharged from the hospital. Simple, elegant, brilliant! He ate, pooped, breathed, passed all of his blood tests with top grades, and ate and pooped some more to reinforce the obvious conclusion that he was ready to go home.

At last, the medical authorities agreed. They said he could go home! The parents were jubilant. Tired, but jubilant. But of course, the medical bureaucracy had to first be tackled and it gave a gallant fight before it allowed Kate and Ed to walk out the front doors of the University of Maryland Medical Center with the Baby Boy Fletcher. It was ten o’clock on a hot humid September night in Baltimore when the BBF took his first breath of fresh air. Well, it was Baltimore, where “fresh” air was in short supply. It was actually drippingly damp and dank in texture; saturated with unhealthy levels of ozone and particulate matter; reeking of the exhaust of too many cars, buses, SUVs; and redolent of the rancid odor from decaying Burger King and McDonalds less-than-happy meals scattered about the sidewalks and curbs. But, it was not hospital air. Ode to joy!

Aided and abetted by the Goddess of the Universe and her consort, Ed surreptitiously went to retrieve his car. He was careful to not attract attention as the paparazzi were ever ready to pounce on BIG NEWS and the emergence of the BBF into the Baltimore commons was Big News. Meanwhile, Kate, the Goddess, and her consort took up position in the midst of the ongoing mass of humanity entering and exiting the hospital – a perfect spot to be anonymous. The consort kept lookout and he seamlessly conveyed Kate and the BBF to the car once spotted. And they were off! Mission Accomplished!

Monet Refuses the Operation

Monet Refuses the Operation
Lisel Mueller

Doctor, you say there are no halos
Around the streetlights in Paris
And what I see is an aberration
Caused by old age, an affliction/
I tell you it has taken me all my life
To arrive at the vision of gas lamps as angels,
To soften and blur and finally banish
The edges your regret I don’t see.
To learn that the line I called the horizon
Does not exist and the sky and water,
So long apart, are the same state of being.
Fifty-four years before I could see
Rouen cathedra is build
Of parallel shafts of sun,
And now you want to restore
My youthful errors: fixed
Notions of top and bottom,
The illusion of three-dimensional space,
Wisteria separate
From the bridge it covers.
What can I say to convince you
The Houses of Parliament dissolve
Night after night to become
The fluid dream of the Thames?
I will not return to a universe
Of objects that don’t know each other,
As if islands were not the lost children
Of one great continent. The world
Is flex, and light becomes what it touches,
Becomes water, lilies on water,
Above and below water,
Become lilac and mauve and yellow
And white and cerulean lamps,
Small fists passing sunlight
So quickly to one another
That it would take long, streaming hair
Inside my brush to catch it.
To paint the speed of light!
Our weighted shape, these verticals,
Burn to mix with air
And change our bones, skin, clothes
To gases. Doctor,
If only you could see
How heaven pulls earth into its arms
And how infinitely the heart expands
To claim the world, blue vapor without end.

3. Baby Boy Fletcher Meets the Goddess of the Universe

THE ALL NEW MOSTLY TRUE ADVENTURES OF BABY BOY FLETCHER

On his first day, here on earth, the Goddess of the Universe (hereafter referred to as the goddess) made a visit to the hospital to meet the Baby Boy Fletcher. Her visit was unannounced so as to cause as little of a stir as possible to the hospital staff and patients. She was expert at avoiding the ever watchful paparazzi so it was not difficult for the goddess to make her way to the BBF’s room without discovery.

You may wonder why the goddess took an interest in the newborn child, floating in his netherworld of tubes, lights, and sterility. Well, I suppose it would be only fair to disclose that the goddess is the mother of Wonder Woman, making the BBF her grandson. As a matter of fact, her FIRST grandson. She was eager to see this marvel – a boy grandchild. To explore the mysteries of a boy grandchild. To determine his standing in her heart and her world, although this really was of no doubt given her experience with grandchildren and their ability to immediately stake out their forever place in her heart. And to assess the quality of his care, knowing how all too human we are, and mistakes are inevitable regardless of the professionalism of the attending staff. But mistakes were not an option when it came to the care of BBF and the goddess would assure his protection and care with her laying of the hands.

Even though, as a goddess, she carried no harm, she followed the rules of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and scrubbed and gowned before entering the realm of the BBF. She immediately went to her boy’s incubator, with no doubt in her mind that this was the one. All other objects in the room took on a blurry opacity except for that of the BBF. And he was shining and clear and wonderful! Goddesses cry, as demonstrated by the Goddess of the Universe as she stood at the side of her new grandson, filled with an unimaginable joy and peace. It was clear that the new grandchild’s boyness had no effect on his ability to leap into her heart and claim his spot for all eternity. She placed her hands on his back, feeling the life flowing through his tiny being. It felt strong, and good.

The Goddess of the Universe and the Baby Boy Fletcher had bonded.

When Words Don't Work

I love words, especially those that sound like what they mean or make me hear their meaning. Susurration, tintinnabulation, glaucous, gloaming, juggernaut, malevolent, chimera, choleric, numinous, vicissitude.
But sometimes, the meaning of a word seems to me to be just plain contrary to how it sounds. Which frustrates me to no end. These words that don't work for me become words that I can't seem to define, no matter how often I hear or read them.

Hypocorism - A name of endearment; a pet name.

Quotidian - Occurring everyday; common or ordinary.

Oneiric - Of or relating to dreams.

Consistory - A church council; a solemn assembly.

Obnubiate - To be cloudy.

Manque - frustrated in the fulfillment of one's talents.

Obloquy - A strongly condemnatory utterance.

These are just a few examples for my when words don't work category. And of course, the reason these and other words do not work for me is entirely subjective. But look at these words above - now really!

Does the word HYPOCORISM in any way at all suggest that it means a "pet name?" Come onnnnn......

"Megan was generally called "booper;" it was a hypocorism used by the family."

Or ONEIRIC! For goodness sake! Dreams - Oneiric; Dreams - Oneiric; Dreams - Oneiric.
Where is the connection?!

"Michael did not get much work done today due to his oneiric state."

Manquy! (an adjective pronounced ma-'kay)When you do not get the job of your dreams do you feel a bit "manquy-ey"? NO, dejected, angry, frustrated, but MANQUY! NO WAY!