It is 9:30 in the morning here in Columbia Maryland, and about 30 minutes ago, my son-in-law, Ed, called to say that he and Kate were on their way to the hospital. Kate's water broke and it looks very likely we will have our new baby boy today. I feel as if I am in a state of calm panic!
She is about a month early. She is my beloved daughter. This is her first baby. And all I can pray is that she is well cared for and not in danger. My biggest fears always - ever since they were born, my daughters. That they are never harmed, in pain, suffering, alone; that they die while I am still forced to live. And that fear never goes away. So I sit and pray.
And I am also very excited - a new - brand new - baby boy to love. Baby toes, chubby thighs, a neck filled with those hidden creases that smell so good, baby skin like silk, limbs jerking every which way with no rhyme or reason other than that they can. I already love this baby and I have not yet even held him - he has not yet made his debut! But I love him with all my heart.
And now, the waiting. The temptation to pick up the phone and call every 5 minutes!. And every time my phone rings, my heart leaps with anticipation. Of course, it has only been 45 minutes since Ed called so I probably should try to settle down, but I probably will not. This is an event; a moment in life that requires special attention and care. Events do not suffer waiting very well!
More will be revealed!
