Lost in medical madness

Since Tuesday April 3, I feel as if my life has been subsumed by the medical system and it is not a fun place to be. At times, it feels as if I am in some sort of fugue state and things are happening all around me, independent of me. There is not enough information and there is too much information; a paradox that keeps me suspended. But I fear too much certainty because I am not so sure I want to know my diagnosis, which could be akin to knowing when I will die. How mortal of me. And how human.