
It has been 6 years since Krista died. 6 years ago today. She was 17 years old and her life had run out of possibilities. And as the years go by I find that I miss her more and more. It was such an incredible experience and adventure to know her and she is still teaching me (when she isn't shopping out there somewhere). Why is it that everytime I go to Target to the pajamas section, I can actually feel her next to me. I either giggle or cry. She loved flamboyant PJs. Of course, that was about all she could wear since she was diagnosed with cancer.
She was only 14 at the time. I will never comprehend what that indictment meant to her - a 14 year old. I only know that for me, it was terrifying, chaotic, overwhelming, and just not acceptable at all. It stayed that way for me throughout the course of her treatments.
That July (1998), when she went to Minneapolis for the start of treatment, I never expected that it would become her final home. And except for one small reprieve that first fall, it became her permanent home. She would alternate between the Fairview University Childrens' Hospital and the Ronald McDonald House (thank god for the kindness of strangers) - and of course, the Mall of the Americas !!!
I have never laughed so much nor felt so close to others as I did during Krista's treatment. I thought that we would get kicked out of the hospital so many times because we refused to be vanquished by cancer, and instead just did silly, ridiculous, and fun things - loudly!
I could go on and on but this is a blog, not a book. Krista, I miss you more than you can imagine. I am selfish and I want you back with us. I want your life to be full of joy, freedom, adventure. Instead you only had 17 years, the final 3 of them just too painful to contemplate.
Do you believe in Magic?