ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE

Summer, 2009. Sunshine on the brilliant red monarda. A symphony of birdsong outside my window. Lavender in the breeze flowing in. There is color everywhere. I wake up in the morning and thank god for another day in this amazing world of ours. I am so blessed.

WHY I CANNOT CANNOT

Today's headlines in the NY Times:
A.I.G. Paying $165 Million in Bonuses After Federal Bailout

I have not been able to go to my retirement account since last May and these jokers, on our money, are getting bonuses more than any amount I could have ever saved! I have been saving for 35 years and last years truly thought that I could retire very soon. I had put away a very good amount of money which could conceivably last me through whatever time I have left and leave my children an inheritance as well.

I have barely any of that well earned money left today. Retirement is not in my future. What inheritance? Am I angry - YES! At all of the corporate bailouts by the government. At all of the corporate mismanagement of these government, read taxpayers, funds. At the egregious greed and arrogance of all of these corporate so called managers.

Do I really believe that the $165 M in bonuses that AIG is paying out are critical to keeping skilled employees, aka, corporate honchos? Who are these people and what planet do they really live on? Talk about shock and awe! I am feeling it in a most painful manner. Where is the government here? And what happened to accountability?

I cannot remember a time since Vietnam when I have been so truly disappointed in our government. I understand the economics of the bailouts, but to keep on giving without any sanctions, requirements, oversight? Giving to people who have their private jets, million dollar parties, and absolutely no concept of what life is like for most people in this country?

Life was good but today it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

The Ashland Stories

Tomorrow marks 8 years since Krista died. She would be 25 now if she were still with us. It is so difficult to imagine what she would be like today had she the chance to grow up, to have been a healthy teenager, hanging out with her friends at the Card Shop in Ashland, WI. I loved her Ashland stories. Ashland was her world. It was all she had known for most of her life.
Ashland is at the top of the State of Wisconsin, smack dab on Lake Superior where U.S. Highway #2 and State Highway #13 intersect. It is a very small town with about 8,700 people living there. I only saw it one time, when we buried Krista on one of the coldest, windiest, grayest days of the year. It was vicious out, as if protesting the putting of this young girl into the frozen ground.

She had just turned 17.

She was too young to die.

She lived every moment of her life right to the end. The day before she went into a coma, she made her dad push her in her wheelchair to the grocery store up the street from the hospital in Minneapolis that had become her home over the past 30 months. Winter in Minneapolis and she had to get out, no matter what. She had tubes, ports, hickmans, lines, extending the reach of her body into the infinity of all those chemicals. Just getting out of bed required major strategy. That never stopped her.

I still feel an ache for my girl - it was so painful to be with her and so painful not to be. Acceptance of god's will was hard to come by. But I was blessed to be her aunt and to have spent much of those 30 months with her. And I remember the laughter! We had the best of times and made everyone laugh with us. We had nurses rolling on the floor, doctors trying so very hard to be "doctors" and not laugh with us. It did not work. By the end of the first week, they were hooked, laughing and joking, being the butt of many of Krista's practical jokes. Like the note taped to her toe as she went into another surgery - she labeled the note "footnote." Hard not to laugh even when the message in the note was so very sad. "Please do not intubate me, you do not have my permission."

Krista stood up for herself, asked difficult questions, pestered the medical team, refused to listen, made her own way. It was all she had left, the ability to be her own person, to get up and live, in spite how how the definition of "live" had changed for her. I love her dearly and I miss her. That will never go away.

It Was 20 Years Ago Today

Actually, it was February 7, 1964 when the Beatles touched down at Kennedy Airport in NY. And nothing was ever the same again! 45 years ago, unbelievable!

I was 15 years old and Beatlemania swept through my high school faster and louder than a tornado in Kansas. It was something so phenomenal, so inexplicable, and so very very exciting. I watched them on Ed Sullivan. I saw them 'live'  twice; in performance at Comisky Park (Chicago) and the International Amphitheater (Chicago). Although it really was not "seeing" them; not even "hearing" them. The seating seemed as if it were miles away from the stage and the non-stop screaming of the audience made seeing and hearing wishful thinking. What mattered was being there and that was sufficient.

When I look back on it I am surprised by how quickly the Beatles were over - not their music which is still going strong. But the group itself. I was a senior in college when Abby Road was released. And then, the Beatles as we knew them were no more.

Looking back it all seemed so innocent; ephemeral; young. "She loves you ya ya ya" was certainly a squeaky clean song, and just plain fun. Their lyrics while often quaint, funny, deep, or just plain not to be understood still hold up today and I would take them anytime over the violent, abusive, woman hating lyrics so pervasive in today's music.

I guess a lot of people must feel this way because, it was 45 years ago today, and in the end, we love you ya ya ya ya!

Reading and Readers

I came across an interesting report today about "reading" in America. The National Endowment for the Arts released a report in November 2007, "To Read or Not To Read," which included results about the reading habits of Americans.

The percentage of Americans who reported reading a novel, a short story, a poem, or a play has increased but not to any significant degree. In 2002 the NEA survey found that 46.7% of adults Americans read; in 2008, 50.2 percent. What is important about the data is that this is the first INCREASE in readers since 1980! People, where have you been!

Now another side to this current survey is not so good. Of those who said they read a book in the past year, only 54% of them did so "for pleasure." What we library-speak people call volitional reading.

The first to be blamed for this dismal statistic are parents, teachers, and librarians. Well, it is true that they do have a major influence on the development of a child's reading habits. But many have noted that there are larger social issues going on which discourage adults from reading for pleasure. One reason given is that reading is basically an anti-social activity; we read alone and are thus, not engaged with others. This is not seen as a positive behavior.

Many see reading as frivolous, a waste of time. We could be doing something important such as painting the bedroom or going to a movie, instead of holing up somewhere cosy and reading a good book. Yet the NEA report goes on to note that people who read are also active in other extra-curricular activities such as playing sports, doing volunteer work, or engaging in exercise activities. So how does reading make a person "anti-social" given a reader's propensity to be actively engaged in the world?

OK. I am biased. I am a life-long reader with a personal library of more than 1000 books. I cannot imagine a life without reading, be it a book of poetry, childrens' literature, a really wonderful literary novel, a mystery, magazine, newspaper....get it?! Reading broadens my world; it stirs my imagination and is a source of dreams for my life. It keeps my mind active. It keeps me up to date with what is going on in the broader world beyond my home and work.

Reading is just plain fun! Can you imagine that???