December 5, which leaves 20 days until Christmas - my favorite holiday ever. Yet, as always, I am not ready, whatever ready means to me at any given moment or in any given year.
Gifts bought - yep
Wrapping accoutrement's ready - yep
Gifts wrapped - nope
Christmas cards - maybe not this year
Outside lights up - nope
Inside decorations up - nope
Tree up and decorated - nope
Christmas eve dinner menu - nope
Christmas cookies - oh god....
Fall decorations down and put away - nope
Spring chandelier decorations put away - nope
Papers graded and grades submitted - nope
I alternate between sheer anxiety meltdown and pretending that Christmas is really quite a long way off. And hover endlessly in a state of stasis where absolutely nothing moves and all thoughts are banned. And I am back again, all over again, at the place every year I say I will never be again, and again, and again. I take great pride in my consistency of character!
I am quite actively entertaining the idea that maybe being "ready" in things is not so important. Being ready in spirit may be a more conducive approach to what is generally widely accepted as the most stressful time of the year; take joy in each day, whatever is in it and not worry and fret so much about all of the things I HAVE TO DO! I think that this year I will try to just wake up to the day and walk through it in peace and serenity. Walk through it in gratitude for the all I have been blessed with in my life. Carry the spirit of this beautiful holiday within me, sharing it as I go through another gift of a day. I suspect that a change in my demeanor might invite a more kind and loving approach to the coming 20 days, and maybe even thereafter.
